Triumphant Return

July 18, 2012 at 7:57 pm 4 comments

Well, a lot has changed since my last post! I started and quit a new job and have really begun the path to a healthier lifestyle. There have already been several up’s and down’s in a very short period of time, but it’s just the beginning and hopefully things will get easier. Just tell me it will, okay?

My shortlived new job was at an eating disorder center and, wow, was it eye opening. The first day I started was cupcake night. Like me and the other residential counselors, you might be saying “WAHOO!” but for the patients, it was like we were asking them to walk into the pits of Hell. And, really, we were. Everyday was such a struggle for them. Each and every moment was a conscious effort to not think something awful about themselves, to not look in a mirror, to not look at other patients and compare, to put an entire plate of food into their mouth and to keep it there until nature took it’s course.  By the end of my shift, I had realized that while I may not have a perfect relationship with food, I don’t ever want it to be that torturous. And just like the patients made the decision to get help, I made the decision to go to the gym.

I work Tuesday-Friday, so with Monday’s off, I decided to take a private class at the gym in the morning. This was done for 2 reasons. 1. I don’t want to pretend like I’m in high school on summer vacation and sleep until noon. I mean, I do, but I don’t…because I’m 26 and that’s just (sadly) not okay anymore. 2. It’s really awesome to start the day off with a workout because you feel motivated all day. Not to mention it’s great to have accomplished something productive before 10am on a day off. I also make sure to go to the gym Tuesday-Thursday and Saturday. Lately, I’ve been missing Wednesdays. Wednesday is the day that I take two classes from 6-8. The problem is that I get out of work at 4:30. This means I have an hour to kill at home. In that hour, I quickly decide that King of Queens reruns on TBS beats working out. So, my next step is just go straight to the gym after work and either hang out or maybe even run (gasp!) on the treadmill.

Another step I’ve taken is to start writing down everything that I eat. I think it’s great to do this because it’s good to have a track record of what you’re eating. When something is off in my body, I’m learning to look to food as the reason. With the log, I can look back and say “Oh, it was probably those pieces of pizza I had for lunch today.” Which I did have for lunch today, by the way. Oops. Another reason it’s great is because it gives you accountability. Do I want to eat that brownie? Hell yes. Do I want to write it down? No, I don’t. Honestly, today I thought “I’m just going to write down 1 piece of pizza.” Um, hello? What is the point? The book is for me and I know that I ate 2! Who am I lying to? And there it was. The fact that I (probably we) lie to myself about food all the time in so many different ways. Another great reason for writing it down is it gave me an excuse to buy a new notebook. I went to Barnes and Noble and bought a small red notebook (so it could fit in my purse) that had that ever-so-popular British phrase “Keep Calm and Carry On.” Obviously it’s awesome because it’s British, but I thought the phrase really applied to the situation. Don’t panic over every mistake. Take a breath and move on!

This past weekend I watched Food, Inc. and Forks Over Knives. I’m currently reading Eating Animals. Twas a very food centered weekend. And I’ve decided (AGAIN) to step back forward into veg land. I could tell you that I’m going about it differently and that it’s hopefully going to work this time, but I’m not going to say that. Because who the hell really knows what is going to happen? I’m just going to try my best and to make a conscious effort about every bite that goes into my mouth. We’ll see where it gets me.


Entry filed under: Vegan Thoughts. Tags: , , , , , , .

Vegan in Newburyport Fak’n Bac’n: to Eat or Not to Eat

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jenni Field (@PastryChfOnline)  |  July 20, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Reading Eating Animals was pivotal for my husband and me. We are not vegetarians, but have settled on the term “conscientious omnivores.” Sounds pretentious, but it just means we’re trying to eat only meat raised in a natural setting that ate their natural diet and got to run around and be a happy animal. No fast food. No commodity eggs or meat. Good luck in your journey!

    • 2. Senza Carne  |  July 20, 2012 at 6:57 pm

      There’s definitely something to be said about being a “conscientious omnivore.” Love that phrase, by the way! A lot of people look at these types of books and films and just brush them off – good for you and your husband for taking something away from it. At least you know where your food came from, which is more than a lot of people can say!

  • 3. foodiestuntman  |  July 21, 2012 at 7:30 am

    There’s a physician where I live that had a radio show for the better part of 30 years that just retired about a year or two ago. I really like his take on nutrition: Go ahead and eat what you want (even the junk food) just watch your portion sizes. Even water can be toxic to humans if consumed in large enough quantites.

    As good as that advice is, I also believe that you gotta find what works best for you. Glad you’ve done that.

    • 4. Senza Carne  |  July 21, 2012 at 2:28 pm

      That’s a great point! Portion control is a big part of it and that’s what a lot of people really struggle with, including myself. At the same time, I do believe that what you put into your body does matter, kind of like what you put into your car matters. If you don’t put gas in, it’s not going to run right, or at all.


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